I needed some time to really think about what I took with me from 2018. But when I finally came to grips with how much I learned, and how much I absorbed, I’m glad to have the chance to share with you guys.
I can only hope that the things that I learned are things you can take with you.
1.) You are what you believe you are.
This is one of the most powerful things I learned before I turned 24. I noticed that if I believed I was a bunch of negative things, I’d start to become those things. But if I believed positive things about myself, I’d become those positive things instead. We truly are what we believe we are. So start to believe good and positive things about yourself. Put aside those negative things like,
“I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m not good at anything, I’m not special, Nobody likes me.” And place better things in those sentences, “I’m beautiful, I’m intelligent, I’m worthy, I’m successful.”
2.) Mental Health should always come before everything.
I struggled a lot with my mental health before turning 24. While a lot of good things were happening for me, my mental health was in a constant tug of war. I learned that taking care of your mind is extremely important. Eating the proper foods, taking your vitamins, and doing things that stimulate your brain in a positive way are soooooo important. If your mind is not in the right place, YOU are not in the right place.
3.) It’s okay to put yourself first.
In 2017, I spent a lot of time being selfish. I figured it was finally time for ME for a change. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I took it a little too far. And when I was 23, I spent too much time worrying that I was being too selfish all the time. I had to sit back, relax and realize that it’s OK to put yourself first. It’s okay to be a little selfish. It’s ok to take care of yourself.
It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to take care of yourself.
4.) Give, give, give. Serve, serve, serve.
My favorite book is called “The Go-Giver” and it explains the art of giving. I read it before my 24th birthday for the first time and have read it multiple times since. The book gives you a genuine understanding of giving. I learned to give this year. It’s an important part of who I am and who I want to be in the future.
Catch the Go Giver link to the right —–> if you’re on a website and down below this article if you’re on a mobile device.
5.) Take a deep breath. It helps.
When things aren’t going your way, take a deep breath. When someone cuts you off while you’re driving, take a deep breath. When you’re outdoors taking a quick break from work, take a deep breath. Be present where you are, take in the smells around you (hopefully they are good ones). Focus on the way you’re breathing. This is an amazing calming technique, and it gives you time to really think about what you’re going to say before you say it, or do before you do it. It helps you reground yourself and brings a difference sense of self.
I practiced this a lot more towards the end of the year. And I am glad I did, it helped me slow down my anger, frustration and thoughts.
6.) Comparison will destroy you.
I spent a lot of time on social media last year. Well, mostly on Instagram. And while I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I did find myself comparing me to other people. Not even just women. Everyone. And that is the worst feeling. You start to compare your lifestyle to a false image that people put out. People only put the good things on social media, obviously. With the rare few that put the bad. And I found myself wanting to live a more “amazing” life. It was so difficult because my life already IS amazing, and I just needed to realize that. I needed to be okay with being ME. I needed to be good with living the way I already live, because I do have a good life.
7.) We are not the ones to judge.
Ugh. This is so frustrating. I’m not generally a judgmental person. And no one truly knows whats going through my head, so no one can generally say that I am. But A LOT of people spent this past year judging ME.
When I was 22, I got divorced and only told the people that are the closest to me. No, I didn’t post it on social media, no I didn’t make an announcement. It’s my business. But a while after my divorce, I decided I was ready to start dating. I dated a few guys before I met Paul (my now bf). Once I met Paul, we hit it off. And after a little bit I had posted a picture of us on social media. (Ugh, social media…)
I got tons of questions, and the here and there random stare or the judgmental family members and friends that said, “You should be divorced for a couple years before you move on.”
All I could think in my head was, “My ex husband and I haven’t been together for a year now.” Am I not allowed to move on after that long? Am I not allowed to meet new people. Do I have to stay hung up on my ex for forever like others do?
Hell no, I don’t. And so who’s the one to judge how you do what you do with your life? Damn it, do whatever you want! It’s not their place, it’s not their throne, it’s not THEIR LIFE. They can judge from the other side of the screen, and let them. But I refuse to EVER be the person that wasted a minute of my time judging another person for their happiness, their joy, and their wonderful life.
8.) Make your goals massive, and actually reach for them.
I spent so much time making small goals and trying to reach them. But for the fear of failure, I never set really big goals that I actually wanted to reach. Like my goal of getting a job at NASA at the age of 23. I set that goal with lots of fear of failing. But, I got IT. And I promised myself that I would continue to set massive goals.
Dude, set massive goals, and crush that crap!
I set the goal of getting that job and I GOT IT. God landed that goal for me right in my lap and I could never be more grateful because it’s been the best opportunity of my life.
So I learned to set high goals, pray hard, work hard, hustle hard and actually achieve what you want!
9.) You can achieve anything you want if you actually give it your all.
Speaking of achieving what you want. You really can achieve anything you want if you try hard enough. Achieving something can mean you might fail a few times, it might mean you fall a few times. The important thing is that you work hard on it and you DON’T give up.
This year I learned that a lot of the people around me don’t believe they could achieve certain things. And that made me so frustrated, I could see that they were trying but not really trying. If you want to achieve something, you have to put 100% gazelle focus on it, and KEEP trying even when you fail. You CAN and WILL achieve it even if it takes time.
Don’t let others diminish what you think you can achieve. Just because they think so small of themselves it doesn’t mean you should think like that of yourself.
10.) Failure only counts when you give up.
You really only are a failure when you give up trying. This goes in with achievement. When I take a practice quiz in my calculus class. I never fail it. Why? Because it gives you multiple tries to practice it since it’s a “practice” quiz. I do it over and over again until I pass it. And in the end, it may have taken multiple times, but I achieved what I wanted to accomplish. So just because I failed at it once, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure as long as I continue to try again.
11.) Wake up early.
I hate…. waking up…. early. Am I the only one or can I get a hell yeah? I really do. But this past year, there are times where I’ve had to wake up at 3 am to get to work on time. (Hello LA traffic ;)). I hate waking up that early it’s terrible!
But I usually work night shift, and I get home anywhere from 10pm-1am depending on the shift. No matter what though, I wake up at 6 the next day, or try my best to. It’s so important to wake up early because it allows for so much more time in your day. It allows for more productivity, and it’s that wee time of the morning that you can sit there, sip on your tea or coffee, and enjoy what life really is as the sun is coming up.
Waking up early helps you feel better overall. Sleeping into those late hours of the day really made me sluggish, slow and kept me from heading over to the gym.
12.) Take care of your body.
You don’t have to go workout at the gym like everyone else. You can go outside, run, do some pushups, whatever. But MOVE your body. Keep your blood circulating.
Take care of your skin, take your make up off before you go to bed, shower before you hit the sheets, eat the right foods. Be nice to your body and use some damn moisturizer.
The more you take care of your body, the better you will feel about yourself.
13.) Money is just paper.
It really is just paper. Last year, some people in my life let money take over their lives and affect who they are.
Man, money is just paper, it’s just a virtual coin. It’s nothing if don’t have the people you care about, the people you love. It means nothing if you’re left alone at the top.
At the end of my life, I know I won’t be thinking about how much paper I had in my pocket. I’ll be remember the people I made memories with, the connections I made, the memories I had. Those are the important things.
14.) Don’t lose the child in you.
I spent a big part of 2018 tense and stressed out. Even though I was having fun and adventuring, I was extremely on edge all the time. Going on my adventures went from being fun to being stressful because I couldn’t stop thinking about anything else, like work, or projects, or whatever else.
This caused me to take it out on the people around me, I became tense in what were supposed to be “fun” situations, and I was sometimes the mood killer.
I learned that I can’t lose the child in me. The child that was so happy and bubbly. The child that was amazed at the color of flowers and wanted to smell them all. The child that wanted to star gaze because she was so amazed at all the lights in the sky.
Keep your wonder and your childish joy. Those things are light in this world.
15.) Read more books.
I loooooove reading. And I try to do it as often as I can. If I don’t have time to read I try to listen to Audible for books, or to a podcast. Reading is so good for you and I wish I could’ve done more of it this year.
I learned that I had to make more time for learning and reading because in reading books like The Go-Giver, I was able to change certain aspects in my life for the positive. In reading more books I was able to learn to serve.
Warren Buffet says that the key to success is reading at least 500 pages a day. Fill yourself with knowledge and it can bring you success.
16.) YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
You ALWAYS have a choice. When you choose to stay in a job you hate, you’re CHOOSING to stay there. It’s called a choice. This means, you CHOOSE to stay miserable, and you CHOOSE to not change your situation, and you CHOOSE to be stuck, and you CHOOSE…
When you CHOOSE to say yes to drugs, you’re CHOOSING the word yes over no, it’s not because you don’t have a choice.
Everything else is just an excuse. I’ve heard SO many excuses in 2018 and they make me sick to my stomach. You always, always, always have a choice. And saying that you had no other choice is simply a weak excuse that you couldn’t do what’s right or better for yourself. It doesn’t matter if someone has a gun to your head and they tell you to choose what’s wrong. If you choose what’s right, your choice ALWAYS wins, even if they pull the trigger.
Choice is the most powerful thing we have as humans, and just because fear might be on the other side of the right decision, it doesn’t mean you can’t choose it.
17.) You set your limits by the words that come out of your mouth.
Saying that you can’t do something, genuinely STOPS you from actually doing it. You are your I CAN’T.
You know how they say a team is only as strong as their weakest member?
Well you’re only as strong as your weakest can’t. The more you say you can’t the more you set your limits. For once, say that you CAN do something. Say that you can move forward with pain, say that you CAN run that mile, say that you CAN get that dream job of yours.
You CAN, AND YOU WILL.
18.) Forgiveness is the key to letting go.
Forgiveness is EVERYTHING. We can NEVER, EVER let go of something that hurts us if we don’t forgive. Whether it’s ourselves, or someone we care about, or someone we barely even know.
After my divorce, I had to learn to forgive a lot of people. And it was the hardest damn thing. But I realized that I couldn’t move forward with the purpose that God has for my life if I don’t forgive those things that hurt me.
I realized that this new relationship I’m in could never be okay if I didn’t forgive some of the things that happened in my past.
We use the things from our past to manifest our future when we don’t forgive, and we limit ourselves and our believes with it. So I learned forgiveness, and that forgiving is the first thing I should always do so that I can stay calm, unembarrassed, and happy with who I am.
Xoxo and until next time.