Self-Development

The “Oh, So Complicated” Life

Lately, I’ve been a little frustrated about something. So I decided to write away about it:

Life is not a riddle.
It’s not as complicated as we make it out to be.
It’s black and white. It’s clear. And sheer. Okay, maybe some areas are grey…
But as an over-thinker myself, I understand the things that get us to say that life is complicated. Things aren’t always simple.

Relationships
Jobs
Family
Random occurrences
People we dislike
Getting picked on
Crisis

Man, that list can go on and on… and on. I spent so much time dwelling, stressing, and twiddling my thumbs over things that I couldn’t control that I made out to be so complicated. And one day, I realized how tired of was of actually saying those words out loud. “Life is so complicated.” BUT IT’S REALLY NOT… We’re so eager to get a box and sit inside of it, not think outside of it anymore. What happened to the simplicity of being a child? Of course, we’re not children anymore and we have bills to pay. But as children, we got over things so fast. We learned to forgive and move on so quickly. It’s that simple.

What’s the point?
You’re living. That’s the point. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it’s breathable.
You wake up, you take things one day at a time, and you remember that everything is going to be okay.

If you don’t want the relationship you’re in. You end it.
“But what about the kids?!”
-The kids will be okay. The kids will survive. It won’t be the end of the world for them. And you know what, you want full custody, you get your ass into court and you fight for that full custody. And it’s scary, and it sucks, but it’s not complicated. It’s LIFE. These difficult things that happen ARE LIFE! And it’s simple, you either choose to stay where you are, and you settle and let your life live itself, or you move your ass forward; you make a change, and get over it. Your kids will grow up one day, and they will understand. Kids won’t be kids forever. And this may sound harsh, and you may think “You wouldn’t know, you don’t have kids.” But coming from a family where my parents got divorced, I’m HAPPY they did. My mom is SO happy with my stepdad. My dad is SO happy with my stepmom. And I rather have four happy parents as opposed to two parents that live together with me and are unhappy and ruin MY happy vibes too (if you get what I’m trying to say).

If you don’t want the job you’re working, you leave and find a new one.
The bills aren’t going to pay themselves. I need the amount of money I’m making right now. I might not get hired.
-Okay, but what’s stopping you from putting in applications to new places and searching your options? What’s stopping you from telling the place you’re going to get hired from that you need more pay? The worst they can say is no, and if they do, you’re still working. So that’s okay. Apply in new places. Don’t be afraid to apply in a new state even. It’s OKAY to move away from where you currently live anyway. It’s not complicated, it’s simple. You wake up and you put in new applications. Do what you love. You need more pay, work your way up then! Learn how to save the money you have, cut back on expenses and unnecessary things to be able to do the job you actually love.

Your family is a mess, it’s falling apart.
Everybody eventually has issues in their family. Death. Finances. Sudden pregnancies. Drugs. Etc. It’s not complicated though. It’s VERY simple. You LIVE through it. You take it one day at a time. It’s tough, it hurts, it sucks, but you will GET THROUGH IT ANYWAY. Because it’s just called this thing we talk about: LIFE. Just be you, communicate, talk to your family and get through the tough things together. And remember to breathe through it and take it one day at a time. Things well only get complicated if you let yourself over think/over stress/over analyze/over fix the problem. People die every day, and it’s sad, and it sucks. And personally, the main thing I’ve learned after losing people that I love and hold dear to my heart, it’s that we get past it. We continue breathing because that’s what they would want. We continue being happy because they’re in a better place. And we let time heal these wounds. It’s not complicated. It’s life. And our reactions to everything are the most important thing in these scenarios.

Random Occurrences, Hurricanes.
But I lost my house, I have nothing now.
But you have everything. You have lungs that can breathe, eyes that can read and hands that can work. And that makes it not so complicated anymore. A little less scary. You start over. You take it one day at a time. You breathe. You move forward and keep the memories. My family lost a lot in the hurricane that passed through Puerto Rico. And they are going to be just fine. Why? Because they’re alive! They have life! And materialistic things can be replenished. Things will get figured out. And it’ll all just be a memory. It’s not complicated. You rebuild, start over, and move forward. It’s not like you haven’t started from the beginning at something before. It will be just fine. The thing I love most about this hurricane that hit P.R.? It’s the fact that every day I talk to my family, every day I see post on social media, and it’s them saying “Puerto Rico will get back on its feet”. They know they’ll’ be fine and they’re toughing it out on these hard times. They’re smiling, they’re happy, they’re moving forward past this devastating time, cooking for their neighbors, helping people that lost everything, helping the sick… because that’s what we do in devastating times.

People we dislike or people that dislike us.
“But my coworker is horrible, they don’t like me, I don’t like them.”
Okay……… And life goes on. You won’t be everyone’s favorite cup of tea or vice versa. Everyone is different, everyone has different opinions, every one thinks differently. Nothing complicated about that. More than simple actually, you don’t wake up in the morning thinking about them, and you continue your life and learn to be an adult and work with them anyway. I had to work with this guy that was absolutely HORRIBLE. I don’t even have another word to describe it. We did not get along AT ALL. He absolutely loathed me for whatever reason, and constantly gave me an attitude (keep in mind I was his supervisor). But every day, I would say a nice good morning and be nice to him. I was lenient as long as he got his work down. And eventually we barely crossed paths and my time to work with him was up and I was able to move on. I just learned to deal with it, be happy anyway, and move forward.

Crisis.
“People are committing mass murders, our president has these specific opinions, and people are kneeling during the national anthem!”
YOU DO YOU, BOOBOO! One of my favorite things to say. Let them do what they do. Don’t let it affect you. Things are done to get a reaction out of you. Mass murders are TERRIBLE. But it’s not complicated. Someone did something terrible, it’s sad and we have to live with it. But we have to live. And we have to learn how to grieve the pain of what our nation is going through without complicating it. Something is ALWAYS going to be happening. You let people do what they do. You put your opinion out there however you want, say what you want to say, and you fight to make a change (if that’s what you want to do) but you don’t have to complicate it. Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. And fight for your beliefs. And stand up for you. It’s that simple.

Let’s get this all straight. I’m not sitting here typing this post to tell you to just be happy, to ignore the issues we have going on today. I’m sitting here telling you that the only way to make it simple is to actually FEEL what you’re feeling and experience it. Stop trying to avoid your pain. Stop trying to run away from the things that seem so difficult. In order to ever reach a point of happiness, we have to let ourselves feel our emotions. It’s okay to be sad that something tragic happening. You SHOULD feel sad about it. And you should embrace the feeling. Embracing your emotions helps you move forward from the horrible things that happen. It helps the pain become a little weaker, and it helps you become a little strong. Embrace the simple and difficult things that happen to you. And then continue moving forward instead of believing it’s all so damn complicated.


Just GO

I got divorced by the time I was 22 years old and I spent months moping around asking my friends why life is just so damn complicated.
And finally, I woke up one morning and I realized: Holy crap, life isn’t complicated. It’s simple. I have to just do one simple thing. I just have to GO.
That’s exactly what I did. I went. I moved FORWARD. I hit the go button (wherever that button exists in my brain) and I WENT.

I woke up every morning, I hit snooze a few times, but that’s okay. I take things one day at a time, one minute even. And my life seems so simple, even when everything and everyone around me seems to be in chaos. I know that things will fall into their places when the cards play the right way.
Just GOING is part of making it simple. No more questioning what’s so complicated, IT IS WHAT IT IS, and that’s all you can do about it.
So just BREATHE damnit.
-S

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